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Here at Coldwell Banker SKS Realty in Bedford we take what we do very seriously as we do our best to meet your real estate needs. However, like almost everyone in every business, we sometimes tend to take ourselves too seriously. With that in mind we all need to take a break occasionally and sit back and laugh at our professions. In this installment of our blog I will take a look at some humorous real estate ads from over the years.  Some of these were misprints and other were intentionally written in the manner presented.

Seen on “For Sale by Owners” signs:

“Owner ready to croak – must sell.”

“Husband left us for a 22 year old… House for sale by scorned, bitter, newly single owner.”

“Price Reduced… but we’re not stupid or desperate.”

“Fieldstone fireplace, wraparound porch, wine cell, spectacular room to grow marijuana.”

Ads seen in print media:

“Home feces south”

“Come check out our new orifice”

“Large panty in kitchen”

“New inferior décor”

“Whole house infection”

“Ice warm fireplace”

Odds and ends:

“This house is only 5 minutes from town… if you have an airplane.”

Real estate ad: “If we don’t sell your house in 2 weeks we will gladly refund every cent you have not paid us yet.”

“Home sickness is what you feel every month when you pay the mortgage.”

“My realtor sold me a 2 story house – one before the sale and one after.”

As the great Jim Valvano said in a speech shortly before his untimely death: “To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think – spend some time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think and cry, that’s a heck of a day.”

We can’t make you think or cry but hopefully we have at the least brought a smile to your face. 

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